As a Christian woman you are like everyone else in regard to your behavior on a first date with a prospective friend or partner. We are all in the process of learning how to treat each other and a first date is only one of the ways we do it. Whether you met the person online at a Christian dating site, at work or simply while sitting in an airport it is essential to begin the relationship in a manner that honors God.
You can do this by simply respecting the person you are dating and following the tenets of the Bible’s teachings. As a woman, you possess charms that God bestowed upon you and it is not necessary to attempt to highlight or show them off. Remember, treat your date with respect because you expect him to treat you the same. Some of the ways you can demonstrate respect starts with how you present yourself:
- Groom yourself carefully and completely before the date. Don’t spend money frivolously on expensive hairdos, tanning, pedicures or manicures. As a Christian you are respecting your body at all times as a temple of God. This respect includes maintaining your body in a clean, well-groomed manner.
- Apply a minimal amount of make-up and rely on the beauty that dwells within you spiritually as well as your physical appearance. Painting fingernails or toenails is not necessary and casts you in a different light than that you wish to be seen.
- Adorn yourself with a minimum of small, tasteful earrings, necklaces, bracelets and other jewelry. The larger, flashier pieces are generally ostentatious and convey an image that does not meet the standards that as a Christian you set for yourself. These pieces are also unnecessary to highlight your appearance.
- Choose your clothing carefully. Wear a dress and blouse that fits you well without being tight, binding or transparent. The clothing should cover your body from above your bosom—it’s not necessary to wear clothing that fits up to the neck—to approximately two to four inches below the knee.
- Footwear should not include shoes that are designed to be “sexy.” This includes shoes with heels over two inches or that are brightly colored.
- Initially, don’t make a point of telling him you are a Christian unless it comes up in conversation. Even then, steer the conversation to topics other than religion so you can gauge his interests, opinions and beliefs. If he is the person with whom you want to continue a relationship your faith will be evident in good time when you ask him to pray with you or attend church together.
- If he lights a cigarette or orders a drink without giving you the courtesy of passing it by you, “do you mind if I smoke or would you like a drink?” you will learn the degree of respect he has for you. If he does ask you should then tell him your faith prevents you from these indulgences. At this point, he hopefully will also refrain. The same is true for bad language. Should he use it tell him you would appreciate it if he would not use it around you.
- If he chooses a movie or a function that is not compatible with Christian beliefs—such as a movie of sex and violence or a nightclub—simply tell him that as a Christian you’re not comfortable in these environments and ask him to make another choice.
- Personal contact during the date should be limited to holding hands.
- When saying goodbye on the first date simply shake his hand firmly and warmly and tell him the truth. First, thank him for taking you out, then either tell him you enjoyed the date or you don’t believe you are right for each other.
When going on a first date, follow these security guidelines:
- Meet your date at the place he intends to take you. Tell reliable people where you are going and your approximate time of return. Tell them you will call when you arrive home and if you don’t call on time: get help. Listen to the evening news if you don’t believe that it is possible for really bad things to occur if you don’t take precautions
- Do not give him your home address or any other personal information. Make certain to continue this policy for several dates until you are comfortable with him as a person.
- Don’t go to areas that you believe are not respectable
- Don’t agree to a date that takes place late at night or extends beyond midnight.
- Always “double date” with your friends on the first and second date. This is to provide protection for you.
- Have a fully charged phone in your purse at all times for emergency calls or texts.
- Pay a small fee to check him out online for background history. He will almost certainly provide you with his full name and address if you ask a few questions. You also can copy his license plate number for further reference.
- Carry pepper spray and don’t hesitate to use it.
Always remember your Christian faith.